Think of The Crocodile Hunter, but replace the crocs with rapists, murderers and drug lords. He doesn't wear all khaki like Steve either, although I'm sure he would if he could.
My father's actual title isn't as flashy--"Fugitive Investigator and SWAT Team Captain" doesn't quite roll off the tongue.
You know that guy who's on the Dos Equis commercial? The Most Interesting Man in the World? A'int got nothin' on Scott Cannon. Who else has Cop and Cupcake Bakery Owner on their resume? I swear he could be a comic book super hero. Cupcake Cop: catching criminals by day and making cupcakes by night.
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| Talk about contrasting Facebook posts. |
What I've Learned Living with a Cop:
1. His life is like Law and Order SVU episode: Growing up, my bed time stories consisted of two things: Monster Stories where I saved the day (and my brother peed himself from fear) and Bad Guy Stories. I was so interested in my dad's day-to-day life that I would ask him what bad guys he caught that day. It varied anywhere from hostage situations to tear gassing a wanted rapist. Now that I have moved out and grown up, I get the majority of my stories from his Facebook or text messages.
2. I still hold on to the fact that I could be in witness protection program: When I was in 4th grade, I read a book about a girl who was put in the Witness Protection because of her dad's job. From then on, I honestly thought that I was going to be Mary-Kate and Ashley in Our Lips Are Sealed. I even had my alias name picked out...Whisper. Yes, Whisper. (Why, young Maggie? WHY?)
3. I have a plan for any situation: My dad's job scares the shit out of me. It makes me believe that at any point of time, on any day, in any place I could and/or will be murdered/kidnapped/beatenup/soldintoprostitution. It happens people. But don't worry, I've been trained. I look for the Emergency Exits everywhere I go and consistently map out escape plans for the most ridiculous of situations. One time in class, a guy walked in during the middle of lecture and I was convinced he was a campus shooter. I legitimately scooted my chair back and began getting under my desk. He was the IT Guy there to fix the projector..
4. Catching murderers makes you really just a little bit overprotective: My bus stop was 6 houses down from my house one year and my dad called the Department of Transportation to have them drop me off at my driveway. I called my dad each day after school. One time I got lost driving in Guthrie and 20 minutes later I see my dad's cop car, red and blue lights flashing, on the side of the highway ready to escort me home.
5. If I was Taken, everything would be okay: My dad would go Liam Neeson on a foreigners ass if they ever attempted to sell me into a European sex trade. Then after he was done, he would go bake a dozen Red Velvet cupcakes.
6. Murderer Hunters are real people too: My dad doesn't just live for tazoring drunk Indians. He loves the little things in life. Like nature:
Just goes to show you readers, just because you've shot and killed someone doesn't mean you can't
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| Live simply. |
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